I am currently conducting, and fully vested in, a vitally important research project. I am trying to see how many loved one’s I can lose in a horrific or brutal manner of death (4 so far). How many loved one’s I can lose to less tragic means of death (lost count). How many miscarriages I can have and survive in trying to have the children which were all I ever wanted in life (22 was the final count). How many of the three children I did have and spoiled rotten in my love for them still appreciate me and/or and the life I almost killed myself to give them (1 so far). How many internal organs I can have removed and still be alive (I‘ve been gutted like a fish and only organs I cannot live without remain). How many times I can die and be permitted to come back for the sake of my children (2x so far, and one almost death while choking on food). How many times I can be murdered and be permitted to come back (1x so far when a drunken anesthesiologist bungled his attempt to place my air tube and killed me) How many men who I have no interest in will fall for me and how many men who I feel I could have an interest in either meet with death or disaster or have no interest in me (ran out of fingers and toes to keep count). How many bad marriages I can have (2x). How many times I have turned my back on life and God turned me back around and did wonderful things for me and with me (2x so far. Once as a kid when I went on death binges with bourbon after my Father‘s murder and lately when my life and my children’s fell apart after a divorce that took 7 years of torture and everything I owned to finalize). Having been horribly abused by my Mother from birth I am also trying to see how many times I can continue to allow her to abuse me and forgive her and still call her Mom as directed by the Ten Commandments (don’t know because only God has the ability to count into, and beyond, infinity). I am pleased to report that in doing all this research I have not 1x blamed God, cursed Him, nor renounced Him for any of the results of this project called My Life. I am currently in year 59 of my research. So far, I am still alive, couldn’t be any more optimistic with God’s new plan for my life, with John Oswald, and am now more obedient and close to God than ever. Let my research show that no matter how bad anyone believes their life to be, or that God just isn't doing enough for them, there is always someone having a worse time. I am LIVING proof of that. If anyone can top my life, my condolences, but if they can’t, then is their life really THAT bad? I am functioning with only vital organs and haven’t had the best life, but I would never consider it to be the worst either with all that God has helped me to accomplish. We all go through things. It’s how we deal with them while keeping our faith and moving forward that makes us who we are!